


A rather Unwelcome Blast from the Past

by Roshwen



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen, Graphic description of Boredom, John releases his inner Nanny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-03-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 18:33:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/738813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roshwen/pseuds/Roshwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John coaxes Sherlock into taking one of the most mundane cases Ever. Except it isn't. Well, the case is, but the effect the client has on Sherlock is... unexpected. To say the least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A rather Unwelcome Blast from the Past

For John, that particular Monday was the first day away from the surgery after weeks and weeks of patients with complaints varying from a bloody nose to the flu to acute appendicitis, and he was determined to spend the day lazing about the flat, enjoying the bliss of doing absolutely nothing.

For Sherlock, that particular Monday was the millionth day without a case after weeks and weeks of nothing or less than nothing, without so much as a simple locked room murder to distract him, and he was determined to spend the day letting everybody who was unfortunate enough to be near know how absolutely and utterly the criminal classes of London had let him down.

By now, John had been living with Sherlock long enough to know that any attempt at stepping in would be useless so he soldiered on, tuning out the various experimental noises and crashes from the kitchen and occasionally stepping out of the way when Sherlock went into pacing mode.

This all worked out splendidly and the morning in 221b went by as peacefully as you might expect. For a while.

Until the genius found out he still had a violin.

After the first Ode to Boredom for Violin in B minor, composed and played by Sherlock Holmes, John added ear plugs to the list of groceries he planned on getting that afternoon.

After the second and during the third, he decided to hell with the soft approach.

‘Sherlock, for God’s sake, would you cut it out?’

The violin came to a screeching halt. Sherlock’s posture remained impassive.

‘Look, I know there’s nothing… _exciting_ going on right now,’ John continued, ‘but could you please find _something_ to keep you occupied? I don’t care how mundane or boring it is, or if you have to provide a corpse yourself first, just please stop trying to lure all the rutting cats in a five-mile radius to our flat.’

The only reply he got was an indignant huff.

Since both snapping and placating had clearly failed, John decided to go with threatening.

‘Sherlock, I’m serious. Either you find a case, or I’ll call Lestrade and tell him exactly how you solved that last case.’

That at last got Sherlock’s attention. He turned around and looked at John like a man who suddenly got bitten by his own dog. ‘You wouldn’t.’

No, he wouldn’t, but John had always been good at bluffing. ‘Watch me. That will make sure you don’t get any cases for at least a month, if you don’t get jailed for breaking and entering in the first place. And of course, that crucial piece of evidence you nicked out of the suspect’s house will be illegally obtained and therefore invalid. A serial killer, out on the streets, because of a technicality. The press will have a field day with it.’

‘Are you blackmailing me?’ Sherlock asked, obviously still trying to come to terms with the sudden appearance of Mary Poppins’ evil twin.

John smiled at the incredulity in the man’s voice. ‘No, I’m merely setting a punishment for bad behaviour. I could probably think up a reward for good behaviour, if that’s more to your liking.’

Sherlock scowled. ‘That’s pretty much the definition of blackmail.’

‘I prefer the term ‘positive reinforcement,’ John grinned. ‘Much more socially accepted. Now, go and check your website. If there’s nothing there, call Lestrade. Or go and pester your brother, I’m sure there’s some espionage going on in this country he would just love to involve you in.’

‘Wouldn’t exactly call that ‘positive,’ Sherlock grunted. He complied anyway by turning to his laptop so John counted it as a victory after all.

Sherlock had half a mind to call John out on his obvious bluff by pointing out the destructive effect a month of no cases would have on, in order, Sherlock’s temper, the flat, and John’s mental health, but ultimately decided against it. Over the years, it had turned out that his mood was far closer connected to John’s that Sherlock ever thought possible or even tolerable and as a result he was more likely to listen to John’s wishes than he’d like to admit.

The truth was, there had been a case on the website but it had been so dull that he hadn’t spared it a second glance. Some people just deserved everything that happened to them and more, he thought bitterly when he opened the message again.

_Dear Mr. Holmes,_

_There is a very delicate and personal problem I wish to consult you with. It is not of a criminal nature, but the consequences for my private life may be very severe nonetheless. It concerns my girlfriend and, more specifically, our son together. The fact is, I’m not quite sure he is my son. He bears no resemblance to me whatsoever and I’m afraid he might be the son of my girlfriend and another man. I asked my girlfriend if she would be willing to participate in a DNA test, which she was. The test indicated I am the father, but I’m still not quite convinced. I’m cautious to place our full names or photographs here, but if we can arrange a meeting I can show them to you in person so you will see for yourself the reason of my concern. Please contact me on isthatmyboy@gmail.com._

_Sincerely,_

_Trevor_

Sherlock stifled an exasperated groan. If a man needed a consulting detective to find out whether or not his wife was cheating on him, she probably was, or else she was about to and he didn’t blame her.

The message was constructed carefully, he observed. The words were chosen with care and the style was formal, impersonal. There was nothing to give the man away. The email given at the end was an obvious pseud and Trevor could be a first name, a last name or not a real name at all. It was all very clever, but it did nothing to relieve his frustration. At least the man had the sense to not publish any delicate information on the web for all the world to see, but it also meant he had absolutely nothing to go on unless he actually made an appointment with him, meaning an actual conversation with another human being. Trevor would probably be a nervous, sentimental wreck and Sherlock would have to be polite and tactful as to not disturb his feelings any further. How very tiresome.

John’s voice interrupted the flow of idle irritation. ‘Anything on?’

‘Just one idiot too blind to see his girlfriend has been cheating on him,’ Sherlock replied. ‘Wants to come by and have me open his eyes.’

John winced at the venom, but only a bit. ‘Well, as long as you put it a bit more delicately than ‘no, of course he’s not your son, you moron,’ I don’t see why he can’t come here.’

‘Would be the easiest way,’ Sherlock mumbled.

‘Sherlock,’ John warned with his Bit Not Good voice. ‘Be. Nice. To. Him.’

‘Doctor’s orders, I suppose?’

‘Yes, they bloody well are.’

Sherlock smiled. ‘All right then, Doctor. I’ll promise I’ll be nice. Please, can Trevor come and play?’

John didn’t bother replying, so Sherlock turned back to his laptop to let Trevor know he’d be ever so pleased to look into this pressing matter.

_Dear Mr. Trevor,_

_I have nothing else on today. Would 4pm this afternoon be convenient to you?_

_SH_

Then maybe afterwards, he could go and see how his dear brother was doing.

 


End file.
